Yesterday, we had our final grand check-up before the doctors were to decide, when they want to schedule induction of delivery. In Denmark this is normal practice, though there are significant regional differences, with some hospitals hoping for natural delivery commencement and others playing it safe with induction weeks before term. We belong to one of the latter kind. What started out as a great day was turned into utter feeling of frustration and tears :-(
Our day started at the midwife for a CTG on the baby and a blood pressure check on me. The little one still has a perfectly normal heart rate and activity level, and my BP was just as stable as it as been all way through - 110/73. Next up was the ultrasound weight scan, which again showed that Junior is still following her own growth curve with average tummy and femur measures, but a slightly smaller head. Her weight was estimated at 2,386 grams, which is on the lower normal side at 36 weeks - and which will leave her at just about 3,000 grams at the time when they want to induce delivery.
Now, how can you not be happy and totally in love with this little one?
Having made a couple of adjustments to my pump settings based on the sensor output and having my weight and urine checked, the final stop was the doctors' office. Unfortunately, being vacation time, yesterday meant a consultation with two new doctors that we've never seen before - not optimal when you want to make your final points about delivery induction before they make the decision. My feeling with these two docs, as well as the ones we saw a couple of weeks back, was that they weren't really listening to our thoughts and concerns. Whenever we tried to ask for personal explanation to their 38 + 0-rule, we got a general answer along the line of "the risk of complications increases significantly and we cannot justify jeopardizing the baby's life". Not a single personal reason. It seemed like they only refer to their own, and in my mind somewhat biased, experience. I mean, if they don't let people pass the 38 + 0 line, how can they know that the outcome will be so much worse on the other side? We left quite deflated with the message that they would call us in the afternoon once they'd had their end-of-the-day conference to set a date for me.
At 3:30 pm the phone rang, and I was told that they'd decided to go ahead with their 38 + 0 recommendation. I argued a bit with the doctor on the phone, and while she said that I could of course reject that decision, then she made sure to play on my feelings, making me feel like a bad parent/patient if I did not follow their recommendations. Both before and after that phone call yesterday I was an emotional mess because of course I don't want to risk complications for me or the baby, but I also have this strong feeling of 38 + 0 being too early for both of us. It's hard for me to explain, but it just does not feel right, especially with the baby's current size and growth.
Now that I've slept on it, I think that I'll ask the midwife at the appointment next week whether if I show up for the 38 + 0 appointment, I'll be able to reject their pills if the baby and I are still doing fine and there are no signs of any of us being ready for starting the induction process at that time, or if I have turn the appointment down in advance. In the end of course, I hope that the midwife will be able to come up with a recommendation that is more on my side of things, as I can only imagine that things will be easier if both me an the baby appear more ready for delivery to be induced.....